how to treat short temper wife in Islam

مشاوره خانواده
10 min readMar 21, 2021

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Treating grumpy wife in Islam and psychology

What is the treatment of a grumpy wife in Islam and psychology? In Islam, the treatment of a grumpy wife has been expressed in various cases, and psychologically, a grumpy spouse can cause irreparable damage to the relationship, so couples need to be more educated about their relationship.

The Prophet’s (s) treatment of his wife

The Prophet (s) had a close relationship with relatives and family members and was very kind, well-behaved and good-natured. In the Holy Qur’an, the Prophet (s) has a great people. So it’s hard for him to tolerate bad temper for such a person.

The Prophet (s) has introduced two ways to treat bad temper:

The First Stage of the Prophet’s Version

In the first place, the Prophet (s) recommends patience in the face of morality, albeit patience that is conscious.

He also says: If a person tolerates his wife’s ill-temperedness, God will give him a reward such as the reward of the prophet Job, and also for those whose husband has pessimism and skepticism, he says that three punishments will be removed from women and will be gathered with Lady Fatima (a) on the Day of Judgment.

God rewards each of the women under the reward of 1,000 martyrs.

  • A woman has patience with her husband’s zeal.
  • A woman who is patient with her husband’s immorality.
  • A woman who gives her dowry to her husband.

In these two hadiths, it is emphasized that patience does not work quickly for both women and men, but it requires time, but this patience has the reward of the hereafter.

The interesting thing is that patience is recommended to both women and men.

Of course, the burden of problems for women who have grumpy spouses is heavier.

Of course, men also have duties for their women, including:

  • Maintaining security and peace in the family
  • Alimony Payment
  • Addressing home problems
  • Meet children’s needs

The Second Stage of the Prophet’s (s) Strategy

He has introduced a way to turn a bad-tempered husband into a good-natured one, which is to have some kind of affection for him to be ashamed.

Of course, this step is a little harder because first the woman has to be good-natured and internalize this good morality so that she can pass on her in connection with others if you pay attention to these two steps and do them, you can treat your wife.

How to deal with a bad-tempered wife

As stated in hadiths, patience and effectivemethods can improve your situation, but how you treat a nervous husband is effective in your injury and level of patience.

A few recommendations for treating a grumpy wife

  • Sometimes your husband may have grown up in a family where anger is normal and emotions are expressed in harsh ways, but you grew up in a house where there was love. In this situation, you may be disappointed by entering your spouse’s house.
  • Sometimes the wife may not know about the harm she is doing to you, so talk to her and tell her that it makes you uncomfortable with this behavior, some men may not be burdened and do not respect your opinion, but you try your best to talk to her.
  • Married men can speak respectfully, so talk to them about the issues that are harassing you and ask them to pay more attention.
  • If your husband doesn’t care about you and how you feel and wants to hurt you, he’s going to get hurt. Ask him to tell you everything that is bothering him, and you promise that you will help him change things.
  • You may have caused harassment and he wants to retaliate for your work, talk to him and promise that you will no longer use this method to harass him.
  • Try to express his strengths and positive qualities in the family and in the community of friends and relatives.
  • It is not a bad thing to accept the husband’s presidency at home, sometimes you bring peace back home by doing so.
  • Try to respond to bad things well and don’t react badly.
  • Don’t talk to people around you about your life and just calm yourself down by talking to God.
  • Keep your living environment calm and without seizures try not to fight alongside your children. Remember that as long as your spouse tries to get less angry, you will have a happier life. So teach each other love and love and have more love and support for each other.

Immoral interaction and negative affect

Marital life means an effective, constructive and positive relationship with each other, and if this interaction is accompanied by bad temper, the relationship between the husband and wife will be filled with conflict and disorder. This relationship cannot be expected to be stable, and if people do not have a stable and positive relationship, negative affection is created between them and gradually they hate each other.

Imam Ali (pbuh) says in this regard:

If a person has these three qualities, life is hard for him, and that is malice, jealousy and bad temper.

Also, Imam Ali says:

Grumpy doesn’t have a life, and that’s why people are advised not to give a wife to a bad-tempered person.

According to Islamic teachings, the best way is to wait. Patience reduces psychological pressures.

If you don’t have patience in the face of these bad tempers, it adds to your problems.

In a hadith, it is stated:

If a person does not have patience in the face of hardships and difficulties and does not prepare himself, he becomes incapacitated.

There are two important issues with bad temper:

One is correction and treatment of bad temper, and the other is reactions to bad morality.

The first concerns the individual himself and the second to the other side.

For the treatment of bad temper, solutions can be used that can be done by both the individual and the other party.

Self-harm is the most fundamental consequence

Some consequences and effects go back to the person himself, causing mental and psychological problems for the individual, and in addition to harming himself, it also causes family abuse.

Imam Sadiq (a.s.) says that if he realized that he was harming himself with bad morals, he would have changed his morals.

The most important effect that affects morality is self-harm, which can be both physical and psychological, and the person becomes unhappy instead of being refreshed.

Family Consequences

If you note that bad morality harms your family and yourself, you correct this behavior.

Bad morality causes the family to have psychological problems and also makes life difficult for them.

Imam Ali says: “Someone who is grumpy, his family will be tired and disgusted with him. Considering that morality affects one’s morale, it makes him successful in life.

Also, a good-natured person gets closer to faith

How should we react to the husband’s bad temper?

Bad temper has detrimental effects on life, but it is important to consider what can be done to reduce these effects. If you compensate and deal with your spouse’s actions, these negative effects remain and can be even greater.

So the best reaction is to be rational about this.

Patience is the best reaction and reduces psychological pressures. Impatience causes a person’s disability and destroys the opportunity for reform, but if a person does his or her own patience, his suffering will be reduced.

As has been advised to patience in the face of immorality, God says:

If a woman is patient in the face of bad morals, God will reward her.

The reasons for men’s nervousness and excuses

  • Hormonal fluctuations

When people’s hormones fluctuate, it affects their mood. To diagnose this, you need to see a doctor and do the necessary tests.

  • Depression

People are not in the mood to do anything during the day, which may change their mood.

  • Childhood

Problems occur in childhood for people, for example, if the child has been mistreated during this period, they may model these behaviors and show the same behaviors in adulthood.

  • There is a problem with life

Men have work pressures that can cause their mental and psychological problems and show it as anger. For example, they may have problems in their workplaces and engage with family members when they come home because of anger.

  • They have low self-esteem.

These people may seem confident, but they don’t, and they have low self-esteem and may not even be able to show their opposition, which makes them angry, and maybe they unload this anger on an innocent person like their husband and children.

  • they have anxiety and stress.

If people are stressed and anxious, they become excused and grumpy for no reason, and they may become anxious in different situations, causing them to become angry and angry.

  • Emotional relationship problems and cohabitation

Sometimes problems occur in their lives that remain unresolved, which makes them angry.

Psychologists believe you need to solve them before serious problems arise in your life.

Don’t let these problems get over each other.

How does nervousness and bad temper affect relationships and cohabitation?

Mental health problems affect your relationships in the long run, if your husband is always angry and cranky, this mindset comes in you that you should always make him happy and feel that you are responsible for his feelings and that it will reduce your self-esteem.

The husband’s temperament can also cause more serious damage to the relationship, including:

  • Reduces feelings of security in the relationship
  • Feeling lonely
  • Anxiety
  • Drug and alcohol use
  • Feeling sad and depressed
  • Moving away from your spouse

How to deal with a bad-tempered husband?

  • Talk to your spouse.

The best solution is to first determine what causes your spouse’s anger? Is it because he’s had a busy day? Or is there a problem with your relationships?

Answering these questions will help you understand why your spouse is angry and work to fix it.

  • Check out his quality of life.

Examine all aspects of life and look at life from his own point of view, don’t judge him and try to understand him to understand his problems, maybe he can’t explain all the details of his problems but you can check around him to get to know his problems.

  • Understand his masculine world.

Men don’t relax with pain and heartache, so when your wife comes home from work, let her relax and do her favorite things and talk to her after she’s calm and rested long enough.

Try not to talk long and don’t give them negative energy, if they want to be alone or are busy with important work and want to be alone, give them a chance.

  • What has happened to your spouse recently?

One of the things that should be noted is to find out why your wife is angry, you need to determine what has caused her anger in recent days.

  • Solve the problem of your emotional relationship.

There may be disagreements and conflicts in each relationship, but the important thing is that you can fix these problems and not give up in the face of problems. You have to accept that at least one percent of you have contributed to these problems when you accept this, you should apologize to your spouse.

What should you not do in the face of nervous and grumpy attitudes?

In addition to previous solutions, there are behaviors that, if you use them, will make your husband angry and inflame their anger so much that you won’t be safe.

  • No insults or disrespect

Don’t insult or disrespect your husband no matter how angry you are, always try to maintain respect and talk respectfully.

  • Never flaunt his flaws because it makes him boast of your faults too.
  • Don’t relate to his family.

Even if his angry and bad moral cause is rooted in his family, never remind him of this, because it is also a form of insult and disrespect.

  • Don’t argue when you’re not feeling well.

When you are not in the right condition mentally, never talk because you cannot think logically in these situations and you may say things that you will regret later.

How to treat a grumpy and nervous husband

If you have an angry wife, you should go to the therapist couple to investigate your problem and give you the right solutions to live a peaceful and good life together.

If your spouse complains about being angry and knows that he has a problem, it is better to go to the counsellor to determine the cause.

Star Counseling Center Final Remarks

Some women complain about their spouse’s anger, living with such a person is very difficult and difficult to speak to. These solutions are public, but you can use the help of a psychologist. The psychologist first roots out the cause of bad morality and introduces effective treatment strategies.

You can easily contact the top family counselling centres “Star Counseling Center”, booking is made via 02122354282 and 02122247100 and 09035673050 and 09108347597.

رفتار با همسر بد رفتار در اسلام

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