How to treat a cheating spouse?
All human life with dreams of days happy, loyalty and commitment begin to look around a bit. If we’re seeing that more and more unfaithful, and its impact can not easily be removed in this way of dealing with treacherous wife is given.
Some couples see commitment in shaking hands and fulfilling responsibilities and duties , but Barbara DeAngelis, a well-known author, says: Commitment is not holding a ring or having a marriage contract, but a behavior that you have with your partner throughout your life. you have.
Familiarity with the concept of commitment can prevent betrayal. Unfortunately, commitment is not properly defined in the minds of many people, in fact, commitment means being aware of the principles of the relationship and commitment to the promise you made.
Commitment is important because it keeps the couple together.
Betrayal
What behaviors are really considered betrayal?
Is chatting a betrayal? Is watching pornography a betrayal? Have you ever thought about this?
Betrayal means that the person loses trust in you by hiding meaningful secrets from you.
This definition does not explicitly mention sexual behaviors , but only mentions anything that causes a loss of trust. So anyone who wants to maintain their relationship should seek to end it .
To treat infidelity, the relationship between people must first be improved in order to regain a sense of trust . If you want to continue your betrayal, then you have to keep lying until your relationship ends forever, but if people are looking to maintain their marital relationship , they are looking to gain trust.
If you want to gain your spouse’s trust, you can not do it just by ending your infidelity, but trust will be restored through truthfulness, honesty in behavior and deeds.
The betrayer must have a different lifestyle and have certain boundaries, the most important of which is to have constant honesty .
Once you have tried to be honest, you should explain everything to your spouse and not just explain things that he or she is not upset about.
So never lie to your spouse and explain to him / her everything that happens to you such as expenses, where you are going to go, what you are talking about, what is happening at work .
Reasons that lead to betrayal
When people get married, they make a commitment to each other, in fact, they have reciprocal rights to each other, which is the foundation of cohabitation.
There are many reasons for betrayal that can be different for people at different times and situations.
“Men and women start their lives with love , but if they do not take care of it, the intimacy between them diminishes over time and over time leads to separation, but some people continue to live a monotonous life ,” said William Glasser . They engage in illicit relationships .
The psychologist believes that the most important motivation for men and women to move towards illegitimate relationships is to re-experience intimacy . These people no longer find any intimacy in life, so they pursue these relationships.
If a man and a woman do not pay attention to their spouse for any reason, they will deviate . Motivation to end a marriage that is no longer satisfactory, ugly behaviors, grumbling cause spouses to run away from home, and infidelity is the best solution for them , knocking them out of the hole and throwing them into the well.
Of course, this does not justify betrayal, and betrayal is completely disgusting and ugly everywhere and in any situation .
- Revenge for the reasons of betrayal
Some couples think that they should do the same and betray so that their spouse realizes their mistake, but unaware that they will fail.
Keep in mind that turning cohabitation into a battlefield hurts both sides.
- Restoring a sense of individuality and independence
This theory states that the motivation for doing so gives the person a sense of individuality and independence . The person may not have reached emotional maturity emotionally and in the face of the spouse’s unhappiness and dissatisfaction maintain their integrity and for any reason seek a new relationship and a Build a new self
- Ensure attractiveness for the opposite sex
Some people want to show that they still have their charms, so they turn to relationships beyond marriage .
Instead, they seek to find out if they are attractive to someone or not.
- Gain excitement and variety
Sometimes the cause of infidelity can be due to excitement and variety . That is, a person does not complain about his life and only seeks excitement.
In this situation, the person thinks that experiencing a new relationship can be exciting, but by doing so, it damages their relationship.
- Unmet needs
Sometimes the needs of one or both partners are not met. Many people choose to stay in this relationship and often hope that things will get better.
But unmet needs can lead to frustration and betrayal . These needs include the following:
- Sex
- the power
- Emotional need
- Lack of personality independence
The harms of infidelity to the family?
Infidelity has many complications and consequences that affect all aspects of life and can harm the individual and society.
Spouse infidelity can be a reason for divorce. A spouse who is betrayed experiences stress, shock, depression, and low self-esteem in the face of infidelity .
Betrayal also affects their performance and can cause them problems.
Infidelity can affect work and family, and if the trust of individuals in the family is lost, it will harm both the family and the individuals themselves, because mistrust can cause a person to lose his or her dignity and respect.
Types of betrayal
Betrayal can take many forms depending on the cause, circumstances, situation and other cases , which we will briefly discuss below:
- Behavioral betrayal
Behavioral infidelity means that a person betrays his or her spouse by communicating with the opposite sex. The traitor may be able to meet these needs in this way .
- Mental betrayal
In this situation, people think of someone else in their minds.
The mental person is an ideal personality for them and they risk their personal life because they constantly compare their spouse with an imaginary partner and can not enjoy the situation as it is.
- Verbal betrayal
In this type of infidelity, a woman talks to another person over the phone or on the Internet . Today, with the spread of social networks, this type of communication has increased .
How to stay faithful to your spouse?
As long as everything is fine and there are no problems in life, staying with your spouse is not a big deal. Real art is when you want your spouse despite the difficult and exhausting circumstances .
If your problems are leading to unfaithfulness , you need to pay attention to these points.
- Loyalty in the absence of a spouse
Working conditions for some couples are such that they have to be apart from time to time, so there is no reason for infidelity and you should be faithful to your spouse under any circumstances, even if there is a distance between you .
- Be honest
One of the most important factors in family stability is honesty.
So do not lie to your spouse under any circumstances and do not even advance the situation in such a way that it causes you to lie to your spouse because your wrong behavior will cause your spouse to lie.
- Forgive
If you want your spouse to be faithful to you, you must teach each other . Think of loyalty to your spouse so that he or she learns to be loyal to you.
When you forgive his mistakes, he forgives your mistakes.
It is true that you are two families with different customs and there are differences between you, so try not to resent each other and share problems with each other.
Remember that you and your spouse are in the same group and should not think or act against each other.
- Be friends with your spouse
Friends cover each other’s faults and if they see a fault on the other side , they do not pay attention to it, so try not to let your life become monotonous and do not show each other’s faults.
- Always be confident and strong
Always be clean and tidy and do not let anything make you forget yourself. Do not let the behaviors of your spouse or those around you lower your self-esteem.
- Accept your spouse as he or she is
You have accepted your spouse on the first day with these characteristics, so you should never compare your spouse with others, accept and love him as he is.
Remember that no one in the world is perfect and you have seen your spouse’s flaws, so try to consider them simple and worthless .
Healing a Wounded Relationship
A person who is healthy in personality should be fair in the face of his wife’s infidelity and infidelity . Of course, it is normal for people to behave emotionally at first, but over time, they must also seek help from their logic.
Counselors believe that one should first have a logical view of the issue and consult with a consultant and expert before making any decision.
Then they need to know what is the cause of infidelity?
Give yourself time to relax and share your problems with your family counselor and psychologist .
Both should seek to improve their relationship because both parties may be to blame .
How can improvement begin?
You have to make a wise decision first. Sometimes the first thing a person thinks is to separate from their spouse, but if they decide to stay, they have to be very honest about their relationship .
Always try to reduce stress and conflict, reviewing previous mistakes will not help improve your relationship. If you have decided to re-form your relationship , strongly avoid going back in time.
Reviewing the mistakes of your spouse shows that his efforts are worthless and you still live in the past and never forgive him.
Below are a few points that are briefly described to help improve your relationship:
Respect your spouse until this period is over. If you find out about your spouse’s infidelity, you should respect him or her and not constantly control him or her and ask him or her where you were. who are you with? This only makes the person angry.
People need to know that following some tips will help in healing and can also restore confidence.
You can easily contact the top betrayal counseling centers of “Star Family Clinic MMSIZ”, booking an appointment with a counselor is possible through the numbers 02122354282 and 02122247100, and by mobile phone through the numbers 09035673050 and 09108347597.
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